Bound by the Heart Read online

  Bound by the Heart

  Ashley Goss

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real people are used fictiously. The names, characters, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual person, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2017 Ashley Goss

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 1544062532

  ISBN-13: 978-1544062532

  Acknowledgements

  While writing this book, I shed a lot of tears. The scenes with abuse were hard to write but needed for the story.

  A lot of people ask me why I wrote the story this way? My answer is many suffer from the abuse of all forms. I hope every one of them finds strength in their time of need. Even more so, I hope that they find true love.

  I would like to take time to thank my entire family for putting up with my long hours put into every one of my books.

  Chapter 1

  Nikki

  It is a bright day in April, and I can smell the freshness of the flowers blooming around me. This is the park where I go when I need some time to myself. My boyfriend, Dwayne, of four years and I have not been getting along lately. Technically, we haven’t been gratified for the last two years. I know it sounds preposterous to stay with someone while being unhappy for that long, but I have. It hasn’t all been unhealthy. I think back to the day I met him.

  I am standing in line, my senior year of college, waiting to pay for some coffee at the cafe when this guy walks backward into me. When he did this, he knocked my phone out of my hand, and it drops to the ground shattering my screen.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted.

  He looked at me with sincere eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I’ll buy a new phone.”

  “A new phone? That phone costs over $500. You have $500 right now?” I replied with my arms folded with a “fuck you” look.

  He opened his wallet and inside was a bunch of bills. Where did he get all this money from? Is he a thief or a drug dealer? Nobody made money like that in college. I bobbed my head. “Wow, what did you steal to get that much money?”

  He looked at me stupidly, “Steal? Because I have money makes me a thief?”

  “I mean no one carries that amount of money around on them.”

  “My parents just sent me money for the semester. Thank god, for successful parents, right?”

  Wow, I felt like a bitch now. I just accused this guy of being a thief when he only had wealthy parents. AWKWARD. I had never really been great with guys. Most would say I’m that awkward girl that stands in the back of the room while everyone else is having a good time.

  I would never have thought we would end up together, but here we are, four years later.

  As I walk in the door to my home, I instantly notice something is awry. I can detect it in the pit of my stomach. Dwayne is standing in the kitchen like he has been waiting for me.

  “Where have you been? I’ve been home for two hours and where’s dinner?” he asks angrily.

  “I was at the park. I’ll start dinner now.” I tell him.

  “You really expect me to believe that? You must have been there for at least a couple of hours. Who goes to a park by themselves for that long? Where were you really?” He interrogates me.

  “I was at the park, really,” I snarl as I take some pots out of the cupboard to start dinner.

  “How long have you been cheating on me? I’m not a moron. I recognize the signs of someone cheating, and you are definitely displaying the signs.” he says as he walks closer to me.

  “What? I’m not cheating on you. I’m not like that, and you know it. How dare you accuse me of cheating? I don’t cheat on people.”

  “Keep your trap shut, you’re a slut. Don’t lie to me!” Dwayne yells and then hits me in my face twice.

  “You will not be going out anymore. I expect you to be here when I get home and have dinner ready. You will not be going out with your friends or anyone else for that matter. I will not let you cheat on me. Not going to happen. Besides work, you will be stuck in this house. You understand me?” he says, shaking his finger in my face and I could feel his spit land on my face.

  He has never hit me before or acted out like this. Why would he think I am cheating on him? He knows I would never do such a thing to anyone even if I weren’t happy with him. I can’t be in a destructive relationship. I need to get out now. He must know what he did is wrong, but he shows no remorse for that in his face while staring at me.

  I walk into my room and grab a suitcase and start throwing my essentials into it. As I am vacating the room, his hand stops me.

  He clutches my suitcase and throws it on the ground and then proceeds to fling me on the bed. While stripping my clothes off, he just keeps saying he will make me stay. I know what is coming next. I start to cry.

  “Don’t cry. This is not how this is intended to go. You are mine. You are required to give me what I need. You have been neglecting me.” He tells me.

  I continue to cry as he forces himself into me. How could he think this is okay? I try to look away from him, but he demands me to watch him in his eye and to stop crying. I couldn’t stop. How could he expect me to? I would never be able to look at him the same after this. I try to push him off me, but he is more forceful. Every time I try, he holds me down harder. He is pinning me down so hard I’m going to have bruises on my wrists after this. After 20 minutes, he finally leaves me and tells me to shower.

  When I get up, I hit the floor. All I could think of is how the man I once loved just raped me. I take a quick shower and make him something to eat.

  “You will not leave me. Put all your things back. This relationship is over when I say it’s over,” he says with a sly smile.

  After a couple of months have gone by, Dwayne has not struck me again since that day. He has not violated me again. I don’t go to the park anymore. I make sure I am home before he is, and dinner is ready. I do my best to make sure he stays in a good mood while around me. At times, this presents an issue. Some things just set him off. Things I didn’t have control over.

  The day he raped me, we conceived a child. When I found out, I couldn’t stop crying. How am I going to take care of a child in this relationship? How could I subject a child to this treatment? I couldn’t bear thinking of the alternative. Maybe, Rachel could help.

  Chapter 2

  Nikki

  My friend Rachel is moving back to town soon. I haven’t seen her in years, even though we keep in touch. She moved away to Arizona to get clean. People in this town apparently run to drugs as teenagers and then must move from the state to get off them. Rachel is going to be back in town next week, and I can’t wait to see her.

  We haven’t had a chance to talk much in the last few weeks, so I am sure there is a lot to catch up on. I ask for the weekend off so I could meet up with her for dinner or something when she gets into town. I am at last going to have a true friend to talk to and hang out with since the incident. Lately, he has been more controlling than ever. He gets possessive, but he goes out all the time with his friends.

  I get on the phone with Rachel. She inquires me how I’m doing. I lie and say that I’m doing fine when really my life is turning upside down. I couldn’t tell her over the phone. If I confide in her, it must be physically. Although, she might try and kill him. No matter what, Rachel has always had my back since we were kids. Most kids didn’t mess with me in school because she had consistently been by my side, but I don’t know if she could take Dwayne especially if he is angry.

  “I can’t wait to see you,” Rachel says.

  “Get your ass down here. We have years of catching up to do. I don’t know if I can patiently wa
it for much longer.”

  “I will be down late Thursday night. So, I will call you on Friday morning and figure out what we are going to do,” she said.

  “Okay, I can’t wait. “

  Dwayne is unhappy about Rachel coming down. He didn’t want me to have friends. I know he thinks he can keep me from seeing her, but he can’t. Once she gets down here, then I can tell her. I could work out a way to get away from him once and for all.

  You know it’s weird how you always see or hear about Domestic Violence but never think you could possibly be a victim of it until you are. Like me. I’m not battling Dwayne. I never once felt he would turn into this guy when I met him, but I guess none of the women did. The one thing that they promote the most is to get help. I’ve seen commercials and newspaper ads about a place that helps abused women and children get away, but do I really need to go that far?

  “Who were you talking to?” Dwayne asks me.

  “Rachel. She is moving back soon.”

  “So, what does that matter? You’re not going to be hanging out with her anyway!”

  “You are really not going to let me see my best friend? I haven’t seen her in years.”

  “Don’t make me angry. I don’t want to be that guy, but I can’t help it when I get heated. The answer is NO!” He shouts.

  What’s sad is he has never been this way before. Until that first incident, he has never had a temper. He’s always been a reasonably calm person. I guess that’s why all of this is pummeling me so hard. Something has changed inside him, but I don’t know why? What could have made him become this man?

  The old Dwayne would have been excited Rachel is coming. However, this new Dwayne hates her.

  “My friends coming into town for business on Thursday.”

  Chapter 3

  Nikki

  Rachel is at last in town. She has finally met herself a decent guy that treats her well. We weren’t exactly the best at picking men when we were younger. We were wild teenagers. Both of our parents were barely home, so we partied a lot with older kids. I grew out of that phase fast after high school. I need to start my night since Dwayne is off with his friends, so I throw on some jeans and a tank top since it’s hot outside and head over to her place.

  When I walk in the door, I notice that there is only Rachel, myself and one other girl in the house. Why weren’t there more girls? All the guys are playing poker while Rachel and her friend were talking amongst each other.

  “Oh, my gosh. It’s you! Come over here,” she says as she gathers me into a big bear hug.

  “It’s been a long time!” I say to her as I sit down next to her and some other girl.

  “My name is Sarah. Tyler is my boyfriend,” she points to Tyler sitting at the poker table.

  Her boyfriend is cute, but the guy sitting next to him is weirdly attractive. He has chestnut hair with blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. He seems to be having fun, with a smile on his face, while making jokes to the other guys. I didn’t even think he would notice me. It is okay, I am used to being the girl that doesn’t get seen at a party. Rachel and I start talking about how different we were from when we were younger. It is true, we have both grown up a lot. We have jobs and common sense now. We didn’t have any responsibility when we were younger. Rachel tells me she is surprised we never bumped into her boyfriend or his friends in school. They are close to us in age. Her boyfriend and friends are around twenty-eight years old. They would have been about two years ahead of us in school.

  “They know most of the same people we do from school. I can’t believe we never ran into them at parties or anything. I could’ve met Chris sooner,” she says as she blushes and looks over at her boyfriend sitting across the room.

  “Baby, I don’t think we would have stayed together if we met back then!” he says straight-faced.

  Rachel gets up and introduces me to everyone. I meet Tyler. He seems down to earth, then I officially meet Rachel’s boyfriend, Chris. He is a character and has a heck of a personality. If I had to classify him, he would be the jokester of the bunch. At long last, she introduces me to Elijah. When he looks up at me to shake my hand, I catch sight of him looking at me weirdly. Did I have something in my teeth or on my face? How embarrassing!

  “Hi, I’m Elijah. Nice to meet you. I’ll recommend if you are going to be hanging with this bunch, then I hope you like to laugh and have fun,” he says with a beaming goofy grin.

  Boy, is he handsome? How have I never run into him before in this small town? It’s not like there were many people. Rachel goes and sits on Chris’s lap, and I go back sitting on the couch. I observe them from afar, competing in their game. They are all having a pleasant time, and I didn't include myself in it. Why? I came here to have a good time. I need to let myself have a good time.

  So, I decided to go sit next to Elijah. He starts talking about college and how he had been in the military, and we begin to have our own little conversation. While we are talking, I notice he is losing on purpose. Probably so he would get done faster and could focus on our conversation. Once he lost his hand, we go over to the couch.

  “So, tell me a little bit about yourself,” Elijah says.

  “Well, there’s not much to tell. I’m currently trying to get out of a horrible relationship,” I reply.

  “I’m sorry,”

  “So, what do you do?”

  “I am a mechanic.

  It’s nice talking to him. He makes it easy. I could tell he isn’t a judgmental person. People like him are difficult to find nowadays. He went on saying to me a little bit about his time in the military. He didn’t seem to like it. He is glad he is finally out and onto different things.

  “Any relationships?” I ask.

  “A couple but none that worked out. Most girls only dated me because I was in the military and they thought I made good money. We didn’t make good money.” He says with a dumbfounded look on his face.

  Even I know that. Soldiers got paid a lot less than they should, around the same as teachers practically. They fought for our freedom, and that’s what they get. I feel sorry for soldiers, but someone must do it. If they volunteer, then they know what they are getting themselves into, or at least that’s what people say. I’ve never personally known anyone in the military.

  “Well, thank you for your service. What else is there to talk about?” I say, searching for something else to say. But I couldn’t come up with anything off the top of my head.

  “Let’s talk about life, our futures. Separately, of course. Where do you see yourself in five years?”

  “Well, I hope to have a career, a house, and a car. I want to be established by that time. It’s going to take a lot of work, but I think I can get there. I’m a very motivated person when it comes to certain things. I am hoping to also be married and have a kid by then,”

  “You want to be married and have kids in the next five years? You don’t want to wait? I am not a big fan of marriage. How can you honestly know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? Why do you need a piece of paper and ceremony to prove that? Why can’t you just be together?” he starts questioning.

  “Well, I understand what you mean. Most people do get married shortly after getting together in the first place. If I ever get married, it will be after at least three or four years of being happy. People change over time and who is to say the person you are today will still be lovable in five years? There’s no guarantee, but love does that to people. Yes, one day I do hope to be married. I want someone to spend the rest of my life with, hopefully. I want to be happy. Doesn’t everyone?” I ask him.

  “Well, yes, I think everyone wants to be happy, but that doesn’t mean they have to get married. Why can’t the couple be happy just being together? I don’t need a piece of paper or a wedding ceremony for someone to prove that their love for me. I think sticking by me every day is enough,” he says.

  He makes a good point. Technically, you don’t need a piece of paper to love each other an
d be happy. You don’t need to change your last name to be any more in love with someone. Why is he making me question everything I have thought since I had been little?

  “Do you believe in fate?” he asks me.

  “Of course, I do. Don’t you?”

  “Yes!”

  I realize we have been sitting here talking for almost two hours while everyone else is playing poker. I am a terrible guest. I need to get up and speak to the others. I couldn’t only talk to Elijah.

  “It was great talking to you, but I think I should go over there and talk to the others, too. With anticipation, we will talk again soon.” I explain.

  Rachel is in Chris’s lap trying to help him win the game even though she virtually didn’t distinguish the first thing about poker and neither did I. I sit down next to them and watch Chris play. He’s excellent at poker. Maybe he could teach me how to play. I would love to play next time. I could always use more money.

  Around two in the morning, after everyone had sobered up a bit, I drive home. I am exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for days. I get out of my car, go inside and plop down on my bed and realize Dwayne is still out with his friends. He would never know that I had even gone.

  Chapter 4

  Nikki

  I wake up around six in the morning; he is still not home. I am not complaining because this meant I could enjoy my breakfast in peace. I gather eggs out of the refrigerator and a skillet so I could prepare myself an omelet. I am starving. I’ve never been pregnant before, but I know from friends that eating is never-ending. I have been fortunate to have not experienced morning sickness yet. Who knows, maybe I’ll get fortunate and not experience it at all!

  I make some coffee and start looking through one of my magazines. I know what you are thinking, coffee? My doctor did tell me one cup of coffee in the morning would be okay.

  What’s that sound? Nothing. It’s never been this peaceful in the morning at my house. Usually, Dwayne is already up bitching and moaning about something. I often just pay no attention to him because I don’t really care what he is saying. I hear his key in the door. As he walks in, stumbling due to still being wasted. Did he really drive like that? What a dumbass!